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How To Win Friends and Influence People

September 9th, 2006

Ebook Of The Week:

How To Win Friends and Influence People

This is Dale Carnegie’s summary of his book, from 1936




Part One

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

  1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
  2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
  3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Part Two

Six ways to make people like you

  1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
  2. Smile.
  3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
  4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
  5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
  6. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

Part Three

Win people to your way of thinking

  1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
  2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
  3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
  4. Begin in a friendly way.
  5. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
  6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
  7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
  8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
  9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
  10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
  11. Dramatize your ideas.
  12. Throw down a challenge.

Part Four

Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

A leader’s job often includes changing your people’s attitudes and behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish this:

  1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
  2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
  3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
  4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
  5. Let the other person save face.
  6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
  7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
  8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
  9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

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4 Responses to “How To Win Friends and Influence People”

  1. Gleb Reys Says:

    An excellent timeless classic! I’ve just finished reading the actual book, I regard myself lucky to grab a reprint of the original, and not the recently updated version of the book.

    Dale Carnegie is a genius, and he proved the same point once more: things that rule this world and lives of each and every one of us are really simple. You just have to try following the ideas the best way you can.

  2. RyanSaves Says:

    Truly wonderful principles. I recently read the book and it was a delight as well as informative.

    I agree with Gleb, Carnegie was a genius.

    Keep up the good work Hoss.

  3. Melissa Says:

    These are all very excellent points. I know Ryan has read this, and was impressed by it; even from these categories and lists, I can tell that they were well thought-out and observed in ordr to make them simple. Simple is good and much easier to practice and apply. In all of these sections I see common themes, such as being diplomatic and puttig the other person first. That reminds me of “treat others as you would want to be treated” and in doing that, people generally treat us back nicely. It’s always good to respect others and love them like Jesus. I’m saving these for future reference. =) Great post Mike.

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