We all have this strong desire to help other people. I think it’s inborn within us, a sort of help the society type of need. So it figures that when people need our help, we are ready and willing to give it to them. I like to think of myself as someone who will help anyone out anytime they need it, and I think that doing that is a very valiant thing.

There is, however, a darker side to helping others. There are actually cases when helping other people can hinder their growth. I’m not saying that any time you lend a pal a helping hand you are hindering them, not by any means. What I am saying is that when you become a perpetual helper, you are actually becoming a crutch and preventing that person from growing into who they can be.

In my own life I think sometimes I work too hard to help others because I don’t want them to go through the same things I did or experience setbacks. But now I’m beginning to learn that perhaps the best way to “help” some people is to let them go there own way and do what they want to do.

One of my teachers I had when I was attending Bible College had a quote he loved to say all the time. He made us say it almost every time we had class.

I am not God Jr.

Sounds comical, I know. But there is a deeper meaning to it. We can’t possibly devote enough time to truly solve other people’s problems. We aren’t omnipresent or omniscient, we’re just people too! So, it’s not that we don’t want to help people, it’s that sometimes we’re incapable of offering them the help they need.

So what does this mean? What am I suggesting you do? Well, I’m not suggesting you stop having friends that are needy. I’m simply saying that you need to determine how much time you can afford to spend on them and also if the time you devote to them is truly helping them or not.

The best way to learn to walk is to fall down and get back up. Same thing with learning to ride a bike. That’s how we humans learn. We experience things and modify our behavior. Some of us lucky ones learn by education, but unfortunately not everyone wants to go that route.

So when you find yourself dealing with a person that takes up a lot of your time, don’t let guilt keep you tied to that person. If you’re operating out of guilt, you aren’t in the right mindset anyway. Next, determine if maybe that person doesn’t need to stand on his own, to figure out things for himself.

Too many times we think we can save the world, when in reality we can’t. It sounds sad, I know and trust me because I still want to changed the world, I just know now more than ever that you can’t change people’s behavior. Just ask those women that tried to change their boyfriends or husbands.

Change can happen, but it must come from within the person who wants to make the change. So, if you are up for the challenge of helping someone, focus on that instead. Don’t tell them to change. Inspire within them the desire to change by allowing them to experience the rewards of making their change. You can do this by living these experiences out in your own life.

For example, if you want someone to quit smoking, don’t try to force them to quit. Instead, don’t feed their addiction by being a part of it. Show them that it’s not fun to go outside by themselves during a party to have a cigarette by staying inside and having a good time.

If someone is addicted to food, find a way to have fun without there being any food involved. Go do something totally off the wall.

Just remember, if you help some people too much, they will begin to expect you to be there for them. From this stage, they will then begin to demand your time, after this, they will neglect your feelings and needs and expect you only to talk about them when you’re together. Finally, they will blow up when you can’t be there for them at all times. This path is inevitable, because you can’t be someone’s “savior” forever. You will grow tired of it.

I hope this article hasn’t come across as too negative. Serving others is a very important thing to do, and if you haven’t been, I suggest you start as soon as possible. I’m just stressing in this piece that you shouldn’t let any relationship be defined as a “me helping you” relationship.

Look for my podcasts to start real soon… And don’t forget to check out the 6M Profit Method. 

I have written before on the topic of prophetic journaling. I want to cover the idea a little bit more in depth here. To read my first entry on Prophetic Journaling Click Here.

So, if you remember Prophetic Journaling is a tool I’ve created to help organize, conceive, and achieve goals. The basic premise is this: Start by deciding on what you want out of life. The biggest problem I see people making is that they don’t know what they want, and therefore they don’t get anything.

It’s impossible to hit a target you don’t see. Just try to close your eyes, get spun around 3 times and shoot an arrow at a target. You wouldn’t know where the target was, what the target looked like, or if there was even a target to hit. Yet many of us approach life this way.

With Prophetic Journaling, you’re basically creating the frame work for what you want your life to be. Most of the super successful people out there know a secret. This secret has been keeping them ahead of the rest of us since time began. It’s nothing new, it’s been talked about and taught for years. The only problem is that most of us hear the principle and then don’t act on it.

If you’ve read any of my previous work, you already know what I’m going to say.

As you think, so you’ll be.

Such a short sentence, I know. But behind those 6 words lies the greatest fundamental truth to human achievement. The things we think about most end up being the things we bring into our life. The fancy way of saying this is called “Intention-Manifestation.”

That basically means that when we create a thought (an intention), we are sending out into the universe a request for that thought to come true. When it does come true (manifestation) we have achieved our goal. The sad part is that we use this principle all the time to get the things we want. Maybe we think we deserve to be broke, or we deserve to have bad relationships, limited emotional experiences, or to be overweight.

For a long time I thought I was just meant to be fat. As long as I thought that, I was going to stay that way. It wasn’t until I changed the way I thought that I was able to start down the path of becoming physically fit. Like I said before, I’ve now lost 90 pounds. I have a long way to go still, but I know now that I’ll reach my goal. I have it planned out methodically and with systematically.

There are 3 important factors you must come to accept when it comes to setting goals. The first one is the most important, but the other 2 come in a close 2nd and 3rd. Basically, any of these without the others will not work. You MUST apply all 3 of these to achieve maximum effectiveness.

1) You must accept that your goals are alive, real, and an extension of yourself

2) You must believe that the goals you write down will come to fruition

3) You must be open to changing, modifying, and altering your goals as your circumstances change and you are presented with new information.

Goals are real. They exist and cannot be forgotten about at the whim of the goal creator. When you take the time to write down your goals, you are transferring that energy from your mind to a piece of paper. This energy comes from you and is therefore a part of you. Your goals are you. You have placed them in an easy to read format so you can continually spark your mind with the words you have chosen.

Remember that your written goals are symbolic messages your brain uses to “see” the outcome you want in your mind’s eye. This is important.

Next, you have to believe that what you write down will happen. This is paramount to your success. When you write down your goal, you are sending an intention out into the universe. You are saying that you have committed to making this goal a reality. Hold on to this belief and read the goal out loud everyday. Doing this will ensure the outcome you are looking for.

Finally, you must be ready to change your goals when it becomes obvious the time has come to change them. How will you know? It’s simple really. You may start out with a goal to be or do something, but as you grow each day you begin to feel that you no longer want to do that anymore. You will know because you won’t feel the excitement you once did when you read the goal every day. It’s like an automatic alarm letting you know it’s time to change.

Please refer to the more in depth article on Prophetic Journaling to understand the exact prccess.